Question About Spouse And Attending Online College?
i am attending online college and i am thinking that my spouse doens’t like it. We have a schedule that revolves around us together. We work together and go every where with each other. We don’t have kids and we go out with our friends. The thing is= my college classes take up a lot of my time and he always wants to go here and there. It seems that he doesn’t care about my education, but he says he does. Every time i tell him no, he thinks i don’t want to have fun or be around him. How can I make him understand that my education is just as important and he is? I mean he understands that i have classes, but i spend a numerous amount of hours for studying, researching, and doing papers to get good jobs. I don’t want him to think that i am ditching him for a degree that i want. Any suggestions on how i can explain to him better. Please only serious and kind people reply. Please no commets like (uhh just tell him or what ever). thank you
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why don’t he take a class as well so he can see the difficulty in studying? He needs to understand that your trying to better both of your futures by going to college.
Try to remind him that your doing this to improve your lives together and sometimes you have to sacrifice for the reward at the end.
Does he every just relax and stay in?
I was told once by a professor that men without much of an eduction don’t want their women to have an education for fear of be “left behind”/inferrer.
First, I would set clear boundaries. Set a regular schedule to study/research/class time: EXAMPLE: from “9am” to “3pm”; sunday to friday. This will also help you with time managment.
Next, make special time for just him either before or after the “study” time he can have your full attention. You plan the date. Maybe lunch at y’alls favorite place, 1/2 hour talk & coffee at Starbucks, or veggiing. Something that you plan. This will show him you “need” him. men need to be “needed”
Your dating not attached at the hip like Siamese twins. If he truthy respects you & cares he will get the picture.
Otherwise, its time to fly solo.
I took one class on line. That class lasted 3 weeks. I made and A+. My husband took on everything… cooking, cleaning,shopping, laundry, etc that class took every waking moment for 3 weeks. I decide never to take another on-line class. (Fortunately this class was also the last class I took before I retired after 40 years of teaching…. when they say that teachers are always up grading their skills… it is absolutely true.)
Now, I do not know your personality. But if you are a perfectionist like me. Perhaps your husband has something to complain about …. if you keep tweaking and re-tweaking papers to make sure that they are more perfect than humanly possible.
If on the other hand you are realistic about the course work then you husband should help take some of the pressure off.
Your education will mean a better life for both of you. Sometimes we need to give up immediate gratification in order to achieve long term goals.
If your husband can not do that then he was and is too immature to have the responsibility of being a husband.
Sit down ND TALK TO HIM HE IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO GETS IT BUT HE DON’T. Communication is the key if you don’t have that you have nothing. If you guys spend all that time together tell him maybe when your doing classes he can do so him time hang with the guys etc…. space is always a little good you don’t want to smother each other GOOD LUCK